After teasing me with normal functionality for two months on ritalin, I am contemplating buying some speed. I want to, only because I want to function.
I don't want to, because, it's not the answer.
So what is the answer ?
I don't want to act in anger.....and as the saying goes, you get further with sugar than vinegar.....
It's time to get the apple cider vinger oot!
I just dont know where to pour it ? :-(
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
non smoker fukwhit doctor and polictics
I had a run in with the doctor. Feb 14th approx...with OH with me...he refused me ritalin..stating controlled substances etc....reffered me to a specialist, he got an answer two weeks ago, and he refused referral and advised the doctor contact the sleep clinic.
So we're approaching the 4th week and the sleep clinic hasnt responded...yet the other one answered within two weeks!!!
He voiced he was in a difficult position, I expressed I understood that...but he has to understand, I have suffered for 20 yrs.
I asked him, " If I stop smoking, in 4 years time, will I still be classed as a smoker "...no he replied
" Then why am I still being classed as a speed user"!
I mentioned my B12 levels at 122 and that it's all evident my central nervous system is fucked, and that modafinal keeps the brain awake, it doesnt help me fire on all cyclinders physically. The 10mg ritalin twice daily gave me that.
My last appointment, I went alone. I wish I had taken OH with me.
Seen doctor clock me in the waiting room alone. He left his room and went somewhere before calling me in. Told me, still nothing, and went into disputes with him.
Demanded the receptionist find me someone in charge. Elaborated....got fobbed off...maybe it's cost...maybe it's cause he's English and doesnt know the Scottish Legislation.....
WHAT!!! Are you shitting with me wumin!....the Blonde GP suggested I could have it once medical file arrived...I accepted it. THE GP doesn't have faith in his license to prescribe...BECAUSE OF FUKING POLITICS...THE BLAME GAME.
She said to go and get the sleep clinic last fobbed of letter I got from them. I wasted my time going home to get OH and hospital letter ( they already had a copy on file )brought it back to her with my laptop ( sleep recordings ) and my OH.
Vented more frustrations that the sleep clinic are being selective and fobbing me off, and that the study I had done does NOT reflect my activities 365 days a year!!!
Still,,, nothing he could do he says...except wait on the sleep specialist getting back.
While you all continue on with your lives......while I continue battling to find the energy to disputes these disputes.
Bunch of fucking bastards
So we're approaching the 4th week and the sleep clinic hasnt responded...yet the other one answered within two weeks!!!
He voiced he was in a difficult position, I expressed I understood that...but he has to understand, I have suffered for 20 yrs.
I asked him, " If I stop smoking, in 4 years time, will I still be classed as a smoker "...no he replied
" Then why am I still being classed as a speed user"!
I mentioned my B12 levels at 122 and that it's all evident my central nervous system is fucked, and that modafinal keeps the brain awake, it doesnt help me fire on all cyclinders physically. The 10mg ritalin twice daily gave me that.
My last appointment, I went alone. I wish I had taken OH with me.
Seen doctor clock me in the waiting room alone. He left his room and went somewhere before calling me in. Told me, still nothing, and went into disputes with him.
Demanded the receptionist find me someone in charge. Elaborated....got fobbed off...maybe it's cost...maybe it's cause he's English and doesnt know the Scottish Legislation.....
WHAT!!! Are you shitting with me wumin!....the Blonde GP suggested I could have it once medical file arrived...I accepted it. THE GP doesn't have faith in his license to prescribe...BECAUSE OF FUKING POLITICS...THE BLAME GAME.
She said to go and get the sleep clinic last fobbed of letter I got from them. I wasted my time going home to get OH and hospital letter ( they already had a copy on file )brought it back to her with my laptop ( sleep recordings ) and my OH.
Vented more frustrations that the sleep clinic are being selective and fobbing me off, and that the study I had done does NOT reflect my activities 365 days a year!!!
Still,,, nothing he could do he says...except wait on the sleep specialist getting back.
While you all continue on with your lives......while I continue battling to find the energy to disputes these disputes.
Bunch of fucking bastards
Emma Parker Bowles
Quite frequently I am reminded that ‘ I was sleeping ‘ when this and that happened, when asking questions about world news etc to my partner, but last night’s episode was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Approaching bed time, whilst sat in an almost comatosed state ( head bopping ) watching Famous, Rich and Jobless on BBC1 on the 9th of march 2010, my partner and I were elaborating to my 17yr old daughter in discussing who Emma Parker Bowles was.
Elaborating further when our daughter asked about Camilla becoming Queen after
‘ The Queen ‘ dies….I was inputting into the discussion…that….the queen mother is quite a fair age and must be getting on now……
OH informs me she's dead. The Queen Mother is dead.
FUK, I never know to laugh or cry. I want to laugh, TO STOP ME FROM CRYING. I told my daughter about me taking speed, as I started to cry.
My 17yr old daughter summed up my frustrations I have been voicing for years, in a few sentences.
"if they done something about it, you would not have had to taken the speed to stay awake "
" can they not tell your not a muppet, going to abuse "
" Is the private doctor tests lab different to the NHS "
" Can you remember that time you nearly burned the house down "
I replied...."what one, there's been so many"
She continued to tell me about the burger incident in my old property 4 in a block....and I burst into tears. I had so many incidences in that property.
It was to this, then that I realised why I am having so many problems with the primary care health choices and the options I am suppose to receive.
I believe it’s a matter of professionals , behind closed doors, ….complaints regarding my sleep issues have been ongoing for the majority of my life…..lost education….shrugged off with depression tablets and told I had laxity of the ligaments and hyper mobility of the joints…..physiotherapist…..none of these doctors will actually diagnose me with anything....it remains probable!......by admitting there's an issue, they admit...that bitch doctor all those years ago....is liable for at least 10/15 years suffering. Maybe more, my sleep issues goes way back toafter child birth, and to my schooling.
My sleep issues has dominated my life. My bone pain and sore muscles have to. I am sick of being told I dream/sleep talk/walk because i'm anxious...i'm sick of being fobbed off....and today....after waking up at 5am dreaming.....THAT@S IT>>>I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
Time to stop googling answers.
Time to get angry
Time to get action
Approaching bed time, whilst sat in an almost comatosed state ( head bopping ) watching Famous, Rich and Jobless on BBC1 on the 9th of march 2010, my partner and I were elaborating to my 17yr old daughter in discussing who Emma Parker Bowles was.
Elaborating further when our daughter asked about Camilla becoming Queen after
‘ The Queen ‘ dies….I was inputting into the discussion…that….the queen mother is quite a fair age and must be getting on now……
OH informs me she's dead. The Queen Mother is dead.
FUK, I never know to laugh or cry. I want to laugh, TO STOP ME FROM CRYING. I told my daughter about me taking speed, as I started to cry.
My 17yr old daughter summed up my frustrations I have been voicing for years, in a few sentences.
"if they done something about it, you would not have had to taken the speed to stay awake "
" can they not tell your not a muppet, going to abuse "
" Is the private doctor tests lab different to the NHS "
" Can you remember that time you nearly burned the house down "
I replied...."what one, there's been so many"
She continued to tell me about the burger incident in my old property 4 in a block....and I burst into tears. I had so many incidences in that property.
It was to this, then that I realised why I am having so many problems with the primary care health choices and the options I am suppose to receive.
I believe it’s a matter of professionals , behind closed doors, ….complaints regarding my sleep issues have been ongoing for the majority of my life…..lost education….shrugged off with depression tablets and told I had laxity of the ligaments and hyper mobility of the joints…..physiotherapist…..none of these doctors will actually diagnose me with anything....it remains probable!......by admitting there's an issue, they admit...that bitch doctor all those years ago....is liable for at least 10/15 years suffering. Maybe more, my sleep issues goes way back toafter child birth, and to my schooling.
My sleep issues has dominated my life. My bone pain and sore muscles have to. I am sick of being told I dream/sleep talk/walk because i'm anxious...i'm sick of being fobbed off....and today....after waking up at 5am dreaming.....THAT@S IT>>>I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
Time to stop googling answers.
Time to get angry
Time to get action
uk politics CBT, pharmaceutical
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200405/cmselect/cmhealth/42/42we12.htm
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200405/cmselect/cmhealth/42/42we20.htm
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200809/cmhansrd/cm090512/debtext/90512-0028.htm
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200405/cmselect/cmhealth/42/42we20.htm
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200809/cmhansrd/cm090512/debtext/90512-0028.htm
clinical Idiopathic Hypersomnolence
NON REM !!!!!
I'm loaded with it every night!
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/resource.html?rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sign.ac.uk%2Fguidelines%2Ffulltext%2F73%2Fsection2.html&q=Idiopathic+Hypersomnolence&c=gp&ss=defLink&p=Convera&ds=0&srid=8
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/search.html?q=Idiopathic%20Hypersomnolence
http://focus.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/reprint/3/4/585.pdf
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/resource.html?rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbrain.oxfordjournals.org%2Fcgi%2Freprint%2F120%2F8%2F1423.pdf%3Fck%3Dnck&q=Idiopathic+Hypersomnolence&c=gp&ss=defLink&p=Convera&ds=0&srid=1
Abstract
Persistent or periodic day-time drowsiness is an important cause of poor work, under- achievement, and social disaster. Somnolence may be associated with anxiety, ill-health, and poor or inadequate night-sleep, but also results from a group of sleep disorders including idiopathic hypersomnolence and sleep apnoea. Idiopathic hypersomnolence seems to be a genetic disorder of non-rapid-eye-movement sleep and is distinct from narcolepsy which is a disorder of rapid-eye-movement sleep. Day-time sleepiness in sleep apnoea is probably due to inadequate night sleep. The diagnosis of these disorders depends largely on the history. Treatment of hypersomnia with central stimulant drugs is often unsatisfactory, particularly in the elderly, and tracheostomy rather than medical treatment is sometimes essential in sleep apnoea.
University Department of Neurology, King's College Hospital and Institute of Psychiatry, London SE5, United Kingdon
I'm loaded with it every night!
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/resource.html?rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sign.ac.uk%2Fguidelines%2Ffulltext%2F73%2Fsection2.html&q=Idiopathic+Hypersomnolence&c=gp&ss=defLink&p=Convera&ds=0&srid=8
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/search.html?q=Idiopathic%20Hypersomnolence
http://focus.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/reprint/3/4/585.pdf
http://www.searchmedica.co.uk/resource.html?rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbrain.oxfordjournals.org%2Fcgi%2Freprint%2F120%2F8%2F1423.pdf%3Fck%3Dnck&q=Idiopathic+Hypersomnolence&c=gp&ss=defLink&p=Convera&ds=0&srid=1
Abstract
Persistent or periodic day-time drowsiness is an important cause of poor work, under- achievement, and social disaster. Somnolence may be associated with anxiety, ill-health, and poor or inadequate night-sleep, but also results from a group of sleep disorders including idiopathic hypersomnolence and sleep apnoea. Idiopathic hypersomnolence seems to be a genetic disorder of non-rapid-eye-movement sleep and is distinct from narcolepsy which is a disorder of rapid-eye-movement sleep. Day-time sleepiness in sleep apnoea is probably due to inadequate night sleep. The diagnosis of these disorders depends largely on the history. Treatment of hypersomnia with central stimulant drugs is often unsatisfactory, particularly in the elderly, and tracheostomy rather than medical treatment is sometimes essential in sleep apnoea.
University Department of Neurology, King's College Hospital and Institute of Psychiatry, London SE5, United Kingdon
more links googling sleep
http://www.nhs24.com/content/default.asp?page=s5_4&articleID=342§ionID=6
http://www.nhs24.com/content/default.asp?page=s5_4&articleID=477
http://www.mind.org.uk/shop/booklets/mental_health_awareness/334_how_to_cope_with_sleep_problems
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/drugs_an_alphabetical_list
http://www.patient.co.uk/find_me.asp#doc3
http://www.depressionalliance.org/publications/da_sleep.pdf
http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/SleepProblems.asp
http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/pdf/IPG241PublicInfo.pdf
http://www.elib.scot.nhs.uk/portal/elib/pages/patientinformation.aspx
http://www.nhs24.com/content/default.asp?page=s5_4&articleID=477
http://www.mind.org.uk/shop/booklets/mental_health_awareness/334_how_to_cope_with_sleep_problems
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/drugs_an_alphabetical_list
http://www.patient.co.uk/find_me.asp#doc3
http://www.depressionalliance.org/publications/da_sleep.pdf
http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/SleepProblems.asp
http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/pdf/IPG241PublicInfo.pdf
http://www.elib.scot.nhs.uk/portal/elib/pages/patientinformation.aspx
Thursday, 4 February 2010
CBT you can kiss my feet !
The hospital won't see me again for anothe test, and recommended I do CBT.
Here's the links i've found so far.
My anxiety test level was 4 and depession level was 6, overall 7.
The site offers free downloads, online feel better courses etc
Funny thing is, these bloody case book doctors can't just accept the fact when I start crying, waffle or get tongue tied and sometimes stuttter, or get annoyed it's with the sheer frustration of living with these sleep issues, stomach issues.
Some of the nurses at the new doctors surgery are quite patronising and ignorant to the fact, or maybe they're just making light conversation.
Yeah!, like making telling me the cold weather makes your tired and sleepy.
Tell me something I don't know wumin!
Doctor has said he can't give me 10mg ritalin until the specialist approves it. So for my next ' specialist ' meeting, I can present to them resources i've found and tried along with previous self management attempts.
Afterwards, if he's doesn't approve, then, i'm gonna say, sure that's fine.....can we then concentrate on the damage inflicted on my central nervous system, by the several years of having a B!12 defiency at 122 levels. ( and watch the twats face hit the floor )
When/if he dismisses that, I will offer myself to whatever trials are available, and ask if we could eliminate the possibility of brain damage / hypothalamic damage being a possible root cause to my sleep problems.
Then of course, I will use my imagination to visualise the patronising useless piece of shit eat my words and kiss my feet.
I am so sick of being treated as if i'm malingering, when there's evident results, and I will no longer be fobbed of because of politics. I've had enough!
http://www.livinglifetothefull.com
http://www.fiveareas.com/resourcearea/
http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
www.ultrasis.com
www.fearfighter.com
www.calipso.co.uk
www.mind.org.uk
http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/
books - Mind over mood: a cognitive therapy treatment manual for clients. D Greenberger and CA Padesky, published by Guilford.
Reinventing your life. JE Young and JS Klosko, published by Plume.
The feeling good handbook. DD Burns, published by Penguin.
Here's the links i've found so far.
My anxiety test level was 4 and depession level was 6, overall 7.
The site offers free downloads, online feel better courses etc
Funny thing is, these bloody case book doctors can't just accept the fact when I start crying, waffle or get tongue tied and sometimes stuttter, or get annoyed it's with the sheer frustration of living with these sleep issues, stomach issues.
Some of the nurses at the new doctors surgery are quite patronising and ignorant to the fact, or maybe they're just making light conversation.
Yeah!, like making telling me the cold weather makes your tired and sleepy.
Tell me something I don't know wumin!
Doctor has said he can't give me 10mg ritalin until the specialist approves it. So for my next ' specialist ' meeting, I can present to them resources i've found and tried along with previous self management attempts.
Afterwards, if he's doesn't approve, then, i'm gonna say, sure that's fine.....can we then concentrate on the damage inflicted on my central nervous system, by the several years of having a B!12 defiency at 122 levels. ( and watch the twats face hit the floor )
When/if he dismisses that, I will offer myself to whatever trials are available, and ask if we could eliminate the possibility of brain damage / hypothalamic damage being a possible root cause to my sleep problems.
Then of course, I will use my imagination to visualise the patronising useless piece of shit eat my words and kiss my feet.
I am so sick of being treated as if i'm malingering, when there's evident results, and I will no longer be fobbed of because of politics. I've had enough!
http://www.livinglifetothefull.com
http://www.fiveareas.com/resourcearea/
http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
www.ultrasis.com
www.fearfighter.com
www.calipso.co.uk
www.mind.org.uk
http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/
books - Mind over mood: a cognitive therapy treatment manual for clients. D Greenberger and CA Padesky, published by Guilford.
Reinventing your life. JE Young and JS Klosko, published by Plume.
The feeling good handbook. DD Burns, published by Penguin.
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