Emma Parker Bowles

Quite frequently I am reminded that ‘ I was sleeping ‘ when this and that happened, when asking questions about world news etc to my partner, but last night’s episode was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Approaching bed time, whilst sat in an almost comatosed state ( head bopping ) watching Famous, Rich and Jobless on BBC1 on the 9th of march 2010, my partner and I were elaborating to my 17yr old daughter in discussing who Emma Parker Bowles was.

Elaborating further when our daughter asked about Camilla becoming Queen after
‘ The Queen ‘ dies….I was inputting into the discussion…that….the queen mother is quite a fair age and must be getting on now……

OH informs me she's dead. The Queen Mother is dead.

FUK, I never know to laugh or cry. I want to laugh, TO STOP ME FROM CRYING. I told my daughter about me taking speed, as I started to cry.

My 17yr old daughter summed up my frustrations I have been voicing for years, in a few sentences.
"if they done something about it, you would not have had to taken the speed to stay awake "
" can they not tell your not a muppet, going to abuse "
" Is the private doctor tests lab different to the NHS "
" Can you remember that time you nearly burned the house down "
I replied...."what one, there's been so many"
She continued to tell me about the burger incident in my old property 4 in a block....and I burst into tears. I had so many incidences in that property.

It was to this, then that I realised why I am having so many problems with the primary care health choices and the options I am suppose to receive.

I believe it’s a matter of professionals , behind closed doors, ….complaints regarding my sleep issues have been ongoing for the majority of my life…..lost education….shrugged off with depression tablets and told I had laxity of the ligaments and hyper mobility of the joints…..physiotherapist…..none of these doctors will actually diagnose me with anything....it remains probable!......by admitting there's an issue, they admit...that bitch doctor all those years ago....is liable for at least 10/15 years suffering. Maybe more, my sleep issues goes way back toafter child birth, and to my schooling.

My sleep issues has dominated my life. My bone pain and sore muscles have to. I am sick of being told I dream/sleep talk/walk because i'm anxious...i'm sick of being fobbed off....and today....after waking up at 5am dreaming.....THAT@S IT>>>I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

Time to stop googling answers.
Time to get angry
Time to get action